Sunday, October 20, 2013

menstruation, more like peoplestruation
did narcissus ever call out his own name when he masturbated?
so my dog got worms and died, and now worms got my dog
have you ever run in to a panini place and shouted "stop the presses"?
these are the jokes, i scream into the mirror, crying
these. are. the jokes.

Saturday, October 12, 2013

Tried to go to the ol' campus bar
It's the worst bar, yar, worst bar by far
Dudes with drinks hogging up the line
Your too tall
Your too fine
I used that spelling purpose, too seem
Like I was younger, a real teen scream
Songs as old as your blankie get a pop
It's a gosh darn meat market douchestorm bop
Spotlights and guards
Is this a bar or a prison
That... Actually, wow
It's kind of terrifying
It's really scary
I'm not even being poetic
And it's not like the blade rave
That wasn't able to take it far enough
Because, for some reason, the vampires only brought one douchey human
Cheryl, it's your job to bring the human this fortnight
It's a real blood orgy
No really
I'm watching a blood orgy
And it's exactly what you think it is
Why won't I look away
Why don't I make that choice
Why can't I
What happens to the bodies
Oh christ
What do they do with them
Is this why i don't recognize any of the faces
Is this why I never did
Are they all dead now
Why do they writhe
WHY DO THEY WRITHE
But maybe that's why I never got laid in college

Monday, September 30, 2013


Thanks, Chrome.  Thanks for giving my spirit license to sing.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

There's a bear in the wall
Not so much in between the walls
Between two
And it's not especially in the fabric of the wall
What is it, stucco?
What do you make walls out of?
Bears?

How do i know that it's not several bears?
That the wall isn't a cleverly disguised cave?
I don't, i suppose.
I don't even know that the bear is really in the wall.

But I do.
It's a bear hunch.
Bear with me.
I can't bear to bear bear bear

Are you not listening to me there is a fucking bear in the wall
Why are you still reading this there is a bear in the wall
You are super close to the wall
Get out of the house
The bear is coming from inside
The wall

Thursday, May 23, 2013


It's too cold to drink outside
So I guess I'll drink inside


Well, this evening has certainly been a disappointment

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

We went to see the newest super hero movie
And the credits rolled
People started to file out

They're not real fans,
My daughter said to me
They don't know to stay until after the credits for the bonus scene

Shut up, you're ten, you don't know a thing about Iron Man
You are far too young to be an entitled nerd
It's a good thing that other people are enjoying the things that you enjoy
Even if "you liked them first"

But what I said was
I know
So maybe I'm teaching her the wrong lessons

Saturday, April 13, 2013


Do you have a cigarette,
He said
And a lighter?
He added
Immediately dropping the cigarette on the ground
And picking it back up
Thanks, man, sorry for
And he dropped it again
And again he picked it up
And put it back into his mouth
And introduced himself
You're Kyle?  Whoa, I'm Kyle, too
But he wasn't Kyle
He was the guy that dropped a cigarette onto the ground
Where countless people had spit and vomitted
And he would be that to me
Forever

Tuesday, March 19, 2013



This guy is getting published in Definitely Superior Art Gallery's upcoming die Active zine, but I wanted to share it with the whole wide world, too.  Click for bigness, and let me tell you how I really feel.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013


I dreamed of you last night, you know.
When I woke up, I was sweating.
I wonder if that flatters you.
I saw you, in the dream, but I don't think you noticed me.
You were paying attention to the rest of the people there.
There was a whole crowd.
A crowd of people more interesting and fascinating and whatever else than me.
Better choices than me.
I stared at you.
I hoped and prayed.
And then you turned your head.
An almost inperceptible turn, so slight.
And you saw me.
You saw me for everything that I am, and could be, and want to be.
Would ever want to be.
And then in an instant you were upon me, ripping through all the layers.
Do you like me Freddy Kreuger?
Yes No
Circle One

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

I Googled "suicide boys" to see what would come up
And I didn't find a single tattooed wiener
Outrage
But I don't have any tattoos on my wiener
So at least I'm not being excluded from being a piece of sassy meat

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Baby, it's cold outside.
I know you've got things to do,
But it's late, the stores are closed, anyway.
And I think you're underestimating just how low the temperature is.

Your mother will worry?
Are we in an age where you can't contact her?
How fucking old are you, anyway?  I think your mom'll be fine.
It's super cold.  I just stepped out for a minute, feel my hands.
I know, right?

No, I'm not trying to get you drunk.
Okay, maybe a little drunk.
It's not like I'm trying to make you be physically unable to drive yourself home.
Are you even listening to yourself right now?
Are you listening to me tell you how very cold it is outside?

Again with your family?  Really?
Send your sister a text.
Really, I'm not sure that your car will even start.
No, you shouldn't walk, and no, you cannot take my coat.
Do you want to go out there and die in these arctic temperatures?
Is that what you want?
You're being a real baby about this, you know.